Ready for your next installment of the sensational and increasingly unbelievable serial novel that is my life? Because yes, I did have TWO MORE FLOODS today, both most assuredly involving sewage (ick, ick, ICK!), and forcing me to cancel most of my therapy sessions for the day. The good news is that we were FINALLY able to identify and fix (at least for now, since it could very well happen again) what the problem was today (still haven’t tackled that dishwasher…). Yes, it was quite a hefty plumbing bill and it is beyond nasty to clean up, but for a seasoned veteran like me I can quickly acknowledge that, “Well, at least this wasn’t as bad as paying for an entirely new main sewer line! And at least my entire basement didn’t have to be gutted this time!” Perspective, perspective, right?
But no, I do not want to dwell on that or bemoan the fact that this IS starting to feel a little personal here, like my house literally has it out for me. And yes, tonight may involve myself and a rather large bowl of ice cream as I eat my feelings (hey, there are times it is justified!). What I would really rather talk about, though, is tithing blessings.
For those who are not familiar with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, in my church we are asked to tithe a tenth of our income, or “increase,” and in return the Lord promises to “open…the windows of heaven, and pour…out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it” (Malachi 3:10).
I have always paid my tithing, even before “paying myself” with savings or paying my bills. And although we did not ever have a lot of money, we were always blessed to have “sufficient for our needs” and be able to provide for our family. Paying tithing has always been an automatic thing for me, not something I deliberated over or had to decide each time to do. I just did it.
Until last year, that is. I did receive a relatively modest life insurance policy payout after Kendall died, and as I had rather large bills at the time (oh, let’s be honest, not just “at the time”), I was advised that I didn’t necessarily “have” to pay tithing on that money. I mean, it wasn’t like I paid tithing on things like claims my insurance company paid in my behalf. So I paid my bills, and was able to hold on to what ended up being approximately one tenth of that life insurance amount that then became my family’s “emergency savings.”
Except it kept gnawing on me that I really should pay tithing on that life insurance money. Now, I know it wasn’t a clear-cut requirement that I absolutely had to pay it in these circumstances (yes, I clarified that with my bishop), and it very well might not have been the right answer for anyone else in my situation, but I couldn’t get that thought out of my head. It bothered me a lot. But then I would question if that was really the best thing, for me to take away my family’s “safety net” like that. Could I really so completely trust in the Lord in such a temporal way? I mean, surely it wasn’t what the Lord would want, if I then had to ask for assistance to help pay for our basic needs. This was a REALLY hard one for me, guys, and I had to address and work through some of my fear of, “What IF we weren’t OK? What IF I simply couldn’t pay for the things my children needed? What then?”
But then I just did it. I paid that huge (to me) amount of tithing to the Church, and you know what? I haven’t regretted it for a minute. The relief and peace I felt afterward was so tangible. And somehow it has all worked out since. We’ve been more than OK, beyond blessed. I’ve been able to (financially) handle the constant setbacks that have come my way since.
You would think that I should be stressed about money. I’m not really, though, even if I definitely feel the weight (that I never had to carry before) of providing for my family. But I am counting on those tithing blessings, in whatever form they may come in, whether they be a car or appliance lasting until I can afford to replace it, or having better health than I would otherwise, or my business doing better than I expected, or any number of things that may or may not directly involve money. I mentioned this in a previous post, but I honestly do not know how I have been able to pay for everything that has come up this past year, or past two years even. It does not make sense when I try to work it out on paper. And yet, here we are. Blessed beyond measure (if slightly smelly from sewage cleanup, and more than a little over the flooding issues – ha ha!).
Yet isn’t that how it ALWAYS works? The Lord fulfills His promises every. single. time. NO exceptions. Those blessings may not come in the exact form or at the precise time I would want, but they do always come. This story ultimately has a happy ending. (Heck, it’s happy right now.) That is all I really need to know, to continue to trust and move forward in faith. And wanna know something cool, something that I just realized today? Since paying that life insurance tithing, I have been able to build back up my emergency savings to replace what I gave to the Lord. Down to the very last dollar.