After so many hard “anniversaries” I’ve gone through these past months, I’m pleased to say that remembering Kenny’s funeral from exactly a year ago really does not feel hard today. Yes, that was an emotional day. Of course it was. But more than anything it was so wonderful to be able to share and celebrate his life, and to (finally!) connect with family and friends. I know it was an especially difficult day for my children, and there were moments for me for sure (I really did worry that I wouldn’t be able to make it through my funeral talk), but in thinking back on March 30, 2021 I’m just so glad that things came together for everything to happen as they did.
You would think that with Kendall so critically ill for months beforehand that I (or he) would have had at least some preliminary plans for his funeral. But we didn’t have A SINGLE ONE. And in order to accommodate some schedule constraints of family, we ended up holding that funeral VERY quickly, not even a week after Kendall’s passing. There was so very much to do. Writing the obituary, arrangements with the funeral home and cemetery, creating and printing the programs, collecting and selecting pictures for making the slideshow and displaying for the viewings (while encountering multiple computer issues and then having places not even open on the weekend), along with creating the displays themselves for those viewings, deciding who would speak or do musical numbers or prayers for the actual funeral without much input from anyone else (certainly not from Kenny), having to decide (and contact and get RSVP’s) for the exact number of people who would be invited to attend the funeral in person because there were strict COVID restrictions around how many we were allowed to have, needing to plan a place for the luncheon and all of the logistics around that because with COVID we weren’t allowed to hold it at the church, and on and on and on. Heck, after being isolated for so long, we didn’t even have appropriate clothing (or my kids didn’t even have things like church shoes that still fit) for the funeral. And then, what at times felt the most daunting, I needed to write a funeral talk amidst all of that. All while being in complete shock and in such a fog immediately after Kendall’s passing. I literally did not have a moment to sit down and just BE with my children. Not until after the funeral.
BUT IT ALL GOT DONE. Everything that absolutely had to get done, did (helped by some AMAZING friends who went above and beyond and were seemingly there with me around the clock working on things, and also of course my family members). I was even able to write, and give, the talk that felt so important to do for Kenny’s funeral. I’m still not exactly sure how I managed to get that written in time, but again, everything that needed to came together in some remarkable ways.
It’s probably not a surprise that being able to re-listen to my talk and the rest of Kenny’s funeral (at the time it felt like all of the talks, musical numbers, etc. were really just right) has been incredibly valuable and has helped me on numerous occasions since. I mean, obviously I have a vested interest in it. But I have had the thought come to me multiple times recently that I should perhaps make the recording of his funeral available to other people (the original link from a year ago no longer works). If anyone would like I can email them a recording of the funeral in its entirety, but I am going to include a private YouTube link for the talks and other parts of the funeral (divided into individual chapters) from that day here (anyone with the link can view it, but it’s not searchable):
It feels a little weird to do that, but if for any reason it might be beneficial to anyone besides my family, there you go. (I really haven’t been able to shake/dismiss the feeling that I should share that.) I only ask that no one posts any excerpts from it on social media, etc. Funerals really can (and should) be beautiful things, and in my (completely unbiased, of course) opinion, Kenny’s was one of the best. Loved it, and love him.
