When I sit down and write a blog post, the things that come out are indicative of what I happen to be feeling in that exact moment. That means, though, that if I am having a hard time right then and I use my writing to process through it, that people sometimes assume I must still be in a slump or struggling, especially when I don’t tend to post for another week or so.
It’s true, last weekend and the few days leading up to it were tough ones for me emotionally. I think there were many contributing factors there, and I did have a lot of things I needed to work through and let myself feel (and get out). But by the very next day I was doing great. Woke up happy and loving life. This has been a fabulous week. With my new clinician taking over the majority of my after school clients, I’ve had a lot more time to simply do mom things. It’s still been overly busy, yes, but there has also been lots of joy and triumphs and excitement and laughter and overall feelings of gratitude. And sunshine and rain (I love the rain, reminds me of “home”) and spectacular thunderstorms and rainbows and just beauty all around. Even a Jupiter sighting! I’ve loved it.
Plus, we’re heading in to one of the best weekends of the year, my church’s semi-annual General Conference (https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/broadcasts?lang=eng&video=13821784704650650799&mode=watch). I’ve even felt up to resurrecting some of our family’s Conference traditions that have lain dormant for far too long. The kids are in for some fun surprises tomorrow!
I know there will likely be some grief triggers this weekend too, for me and my children and our extended family. There were traditions around Conference weekends that mostly centered around my mom, and even with my sisters and me doing our best to take over some of those I know it won’t be the same. Of course not. But I like the idea of keeping some things going, of continuing to create new memories for the cousins and enjoying time together as a family.
Now I’m going to try to actually get to bed at a decent time tonight (something I have not been great with the past week) so I’m not sleepy during General Conference. I know I will feel buoyed up spiritually after this weekend and I can’t wait to soak it all up. Tschuss!
