Are We Really Supposed to Be Grateful in ALL Circumstances?

You’ll notice that I did say grateful in all circumstances, not necessarily grateful for all circumstances. That’s an important distinction to make. It would be disingenuous of me to say that I was grateful for my husband dying so young, for Mom’s death, was grateful for my child’s serious medical conditions, or my own physical limitations. No one would believe that, including myself. (I mean, there does need to be at least some semblance of truth for me to be able to convince my brain of something, no matter how many times I may repeat a mantra to myself.) But absolutely I can say that I feel gratitude in my life, and I do so within the context of being widowed or dealing with medical challenges. I choose to be grateful, all while living in those circumstances.

I had an interesting conversation with someone today that touched on this, one that made me think deeper about the topic than I’m typically apt to do. I hadn’t ever before verbalized how I view gratitude as an expression of faith, hope, and love all at once, but that’s exactly what it is. It is because I have faith in Jesus Christ and hope in the plan of salvation that I can feel peace and permeating gratitude now. Expressing gratitude really is an acknowledgement of God and all of the ways He continues to support and bless me, a way for me to recognize and feel His love for me, and for me to demonstrate love and show reverence toward Him.

I’ve gotten lax the last bit on doing this. While I have (most of the time) continued to ask the kids in the morning what they’re grateful for that day, it’s been a bit since I have written in my own gratitude journal (or any sort of journal at all, if I’m not counting blogging). I’ve felt the lack of that in my life. My brain is still trained to be able to identify those tender mercies around me, to look for the “silver linings” in situations, but it feels like I’ve gotten so busy lately that I haven’t stopped and regularly taken the time to do so. There is an extra emotional and mental boost that comes from sitting down and thinking through the specific things from that day for which I feel real gratitude, and then taking the time to express thanks to my Heavenly Father for those very things (which often causes even more to come to mind). I realized today that I haven’t been taking advantage of that power in my life like I used to.

This is a real time of transition for our family. There are so many unknowns, and we know that some difficult experiences are on the horizon for us. Oh, nothing to the extent of Kendall’s illness (although thank heavens we had no idea what we were actually getting into when all of that started), but some hard things nonetheless. I once again feel like I am facing a hinge point, aware that how I choose to respond will not only affect me but the direction that our family will take moving forward. Feeling run down and burnt out in many ways is not helping, and I’m noticing that little seeds of self doubt (or worse, indifference) have been trying to worm their way into my mind.

So what gratitude do I feel in all of this? I’m grateful to have a support system that I know will be there for me as I may struggle or fall short or just feel overwhelmed at times. I’m grateful for the friends who will let me talk through those thoughts swirling in my head but not quite solidified yet. I’m grateful that, through the power of the Atonement, I know that I can once again be given strength and direction beyond my own limited capacity. I know that as I turn things over to God and don’t try to merely rely on my own capabilities, I can feel peace and yes, joy. I feel grateful to have options, for the flexibility to further adjust my work to accommodate the needs of my family. I’m grateful to live close to extended family, something I did not have growing up. I’m grateful for new (and old!) friends and experiences that continually fill my cup. I’m grateful for personal revelation. I’m grateful for laughter. I’m grateful for Kenny’s and Mom’s support we are surely receiving from the other side. I’m grateful for this warmer weather and less pain! And so on.

There are numerous things each and every day that help me continue to shoulder loads that appear so heavy. I know from personal experience that being intentional with feeling and expressing gratitude makes a huge difference in how I handle the hard. Dieter F. Uchtdorf said, “Could I suggest that we see gratitude as a disposition, a way of life that stands independent of our current situation? In other words, I’m suggesting that instead of being thankful for things, we focus on being thankful in our circumstances—whatever they may be.”

I am recommitting to faithfully keeping that gratitude journal. And yes, I’m totally going to use you all as a sort of accountability partner for me, because I know that if I write it here there are at least a few people who will follow up with me and check in on how I’m doing with this. Thank you! I feel better already.