Posts by Suzanne Sawyer-Espinoza

I've alluded to the fact that January 21 - March 24 were going to be, or have been, (and certainly currently are) incredibly difficult for me. For whatever reason, the way my brain has decided to make sense of what occurred during Kendall's illness, to grapple with some of those horrific experiences, has been to closely tie everything to the dates when they originally occurred. There have…

I mentioned in a previous post that I still struggle with focusing to read for pleasure (except, funny enough, those letters and journal entries from when I was in college). Even watching TV feels hard now. The same applies to listening to things that require my careful attention, like audio books or podcasts (yes, I've tried - although I've noticed that things like that are slowly getting…

Yes, I felt very loved today. :)

I am completely on board with the idea of embracing my current life circumstances, or what the future may hold, intentionally trying to embrace my role as a parent, my job, etc. (I even have a few "Embrace" signs around my house to remind me - the one in this picture is in my clinic.) I have not, however, yet figured out what it means, or exactly…

I hate this. Sorry, but I do. Birthdays in our family unsurprisingly hold some extra weight and sadness now, but our two that fall in February are especially hard. Today is my youngest's birthday, cute girl (she's nine today and definitely got her daddy's height - she's already taller than my chin). She has been so excited, and I have wanted to be so excited too, wanted…

Are you keeping up with the recent rapid rate of all of these posts? Feeling slightly overwhelmed? Ready to give up on trying to stay caught up? (Seriously, there is so much in my head - I could easily sit and write at least five other posts, right now...) I have mentioned this before, but writing this blog through the Meal Train platform has been a rather…

I have a lot of thoughts swirling in my brain right now, so I don't know exactly what this post will morph into. (It's often just as much of a surprise to me writing it as it may be to you reading it.) As I have been processing through the different events from a year ago, I have found myself also reflecting on where I was last…

So I think that teenagers are great. I enjoy getting to hear their thoughts about things, seeing what excites them and their enthusiasm for life, the glimpses I get into how they view the world. I love teasing back and forth and laughing with them, or getting to witness their talents developing, watching as they gain independence in different areas. And I am SO grateful for my…

Those have been some heavy, thought-provoking (at least for me) past few posts. Lest you think I merely sit around thinking deep introspective thoughts constantly, I thought I would switch things up a bit with this one. I'm certainly not serious all the time (definitely have my snarky moments). And hey, I can be FUN! (Well, I think I'm fun. Quite possibly others just find me too…

Hmmm, looks like using introspective questions as post titles is becoming a thing... As every single day from January 21 through March 24 is now an anniversary of at least one terrible or traumatic thing, or some kind of "last," or has horrible memories associated with that specific day, I've been thinking lately about what I might have changed from that time a year ago. I mean,…