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We celebrated A's 18th birthday yesterday, which was nice if not a bit low-key with my full day of doing new clinician training and then two siblings away at camp. We'll be spreading that celebrating out over this week and next. Birthdays are always somewhat bittersweet now without Kendall there to mark and celebrate them, and 18 is a big milestone birthday (can I really have an…

I love these shoes, guys. Not only are they super cute, but they're comfortable (a rarity with heels!), great for dancing, and they match most anything. And.....I may never be able to wear them in public again. At least not with a straight face. I attended a single adult fireside yesterday with some widow/widower friends. We were a fairly large group, so in order to all sit…

Oh, I like that new background for the main page of my blog so much better! (A big thank you to Justin Lehman for granting me permission to use that stunning photo. You can check out more of his amazing art at www.justinlehman.com.) The original picture and design was only ever meant to act as a placeholder getting me initially up and running as I made the…

My oldest graduated from high school last Saturday. I imagine that has to be an emotional experience for any parent, watching their child cross through that anticipated rite of passage taking them from childhood toward young adulthood. When I think of how many obstacles this kid has had to overcome to get to that moment, though, I am in awe of her accomplishments and so very very…

Many people may not know this, but I actually minored in clarinet when I was at Brigham Young University. Band was also a huge part of my high school experience. Who knows how many auditions, lessons, rehearsals, competitions, or performances I may have participated in over the years, and in college I usually practiced my clarinet for at least an hour a day. (So many hours spent…

A friend of mine wrote a thought-provoking post on Facebook about the concept of healing, and what that has looked like in her life since losing her husband. It really made me stop and ask myself, "Do I believe that complete healing is possible? Do I think I am healed? How does that fit with the idea that grief is something I will always carry with me…

Are you familiar with the concept of earthing? I won't get into the nitty-gritty scientific details, but the general basis behind it is that the earth has a slight negative charge, and over time our bodies will build up a positive charge. Being in soil and connected to the earth (literally) can help restore our body back to its desired neutral state. Earthing, also called grounding, has…

What a week this has been! I am not over-exaggerating when I say that the past week was the most stressful one I've had all year work-wise. It's found me going non-stop all day and then staying up until 12:30 in the morning trying to get 45 end of year progress reports done, working on getting my summer therapy schedule set up, billing issues, doing more than…

A close friend recently observed that I've seemed a bit distant and disconnected lately. It's true. The stress has been getting to me, and I've felt my brain shutting down a bit. I've been making more "widow brain" cognitive errors, had a harder time paying attention or remembering or following through on things, have been procrastinating in ways that really aren't like me. Oh, it hasn't been…

(This of course includes widowers as well!) That's right, we get our own holiday. (Seems a poor consolation, especially since at least so far there hasn't been any chocolate or flowers involved. I feel cheated!) I mentioned this holiday last year, but figured I'd write a few words today as well. We all know widows and widowers. (We're everywhere if you start looking and paying attention!) Likely…