I’ve debated if I should share a more current picture of Kendall as he is so sick. I’m sure people have noticed that I strategically have NOT included him in most of my recent photos. But this is the reality of how things are right now. Kendall is very very sick, and he looks very sick.
I can only begin to guess what Kendall is going through right now. I can tell you that he is in a lot of pain (including a new, very sharp pain on his left side that the doctors are still trying to figure out, but that makes it incredibly painful to sit up or move). He has a new rash on his torso, and his mucositis and sores in his mouth and throat are pretty bad. The nausea is still awful as well, despite being on round-the-clock anti-nausea meds. So while I know the symptoms and I’ve been able to talk to the doctors in person, I of course can’t fully understand how terrible this experience must be for Kendall each moment.
Certainly my burden is much less physically painful, but it has felt particularly heavy this past week. My hours at the hospital include consulting with a lot of medical personnel, which can be draining and a somewhat discouraging, and I try my best to do anything I can think of to make Kendall more comfortable or to distract him from the pain. It’s difficult not being able to do much. My days have been very full, waking up early to get to the hospital, getting home mere minutes before starting therapy from 12:00-5:00 or 6:00, dinner with the kids, bedtime, then usually some sort of cleaning or household project trying to prepare the house for when Kendall could come home. Fall into bed exhausted, and then wake up early and repeat the next day. Even so, I have taken comfort from the Lord’s promise in Mosiah 24:14, “And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.” I know this time will pass, and I know I am being given strength beyond my own to get through this.
While the doctors had hoped to see some signs of engraftment by now, we’re still more than a week away from giving up and needing to explore other options. Keep those prayers coming. I know many many people are praying for our whole family. We really need them.