So I think that teenagers are great. I enjoy getting to hear their thoughts about things, seeing what excites them and their enthusiasm for life, the glimpses I get into how they view the world. I love teasing back and forth and laughing with them, or getting to witness their talents developing, watching as they gain independence in different areas. And I am SO grateful for my teenagers’ help. I can’t imagine how this past year and a half would have played out if my kids had all been smaller (although seven still felt awfully little…). They have ALL stepped up in some pretty amazing ways and I am beyond proud of them.
But I can’t help thinking that something must surely be wrong? Isn’t that a rite of parenthood, that your teenagers are embarrassed (sometimes mortified?) by you? Despite my best efforts, I CAN’T SEEM TO EMBARRASS THEM. (Where’s the fun in that?) My girls and I were talking about it this morning as we were walking to school (I walk with them to the high school every morning, and make sure I’m the one to drive my elementary school kids, to have time together since my work schedule doesn’t usually allow me to meet them when they get home). Sure, they laugh at me plenty (well, usually with me) because I can be pretty spaz-y and overly excited about silly things. Not to mention so forgetful or amusingly scatter-brained the past year. But when I asked if they are ever embarrassed by things like my walking them to school still in my pajamas/no makeup/with crazy bed head (oh yes, I do at times), my oldest got an incredulous look on her face and said, “Why would we ever be embarrassed by you?” I mean, who wouldn’t love a kid like that?
Sure, we’re a normal family, where tempers can sometimes be testy and patience thin or we let each other down. But I meant it when I wrote that I can see how our family has grown closer over the past year and a half. I find that pretty remarkable, considering how much less time I have been able to spend with my children than I used to, both when I was at the hospital or caring for Kendall all the time, and now with my working full-time. And yes, it can be easy to focus on the things I feel that my children are missing out on now, the things I simply can’t do that I want to or used to be able to do.
Yet there’s no question that the Lord is helping us compensate in so many ways for what we’ve lost. No, nothing will ever replace their dad in their lives, my having my husband here, but it continually amazes me to see the people the Lord does place in our lives when we need them, the ways and solutions that open up when I couldn’t see how things could possibly work out. Or the times that despite my crazy schedule I HAVE been able to be involved and be there for important moments like a swim meet or a class party or a doctor’s appointment or one-on-one kid dates. It’s been absolutely incredible. There will likely be plenty of times that I will lose sight of or forget that realization. Life seems to be cyclical like that. But doesn’t that make those acknowledgements or lessons learned so much more important to document, to remember? I’m grateful I’ve had this outlet to do so, for the good and the hard and the every day miraculous moments of our lives.
