No surprise that I now pay special attention to any stories in the scriptures that involve widows. I imagine myself being in their circumstances and feel that I can better understand and relate to the mental, emotional, and physical anguish they must have experienced. It all seems so personal now.
I think about the relationship between Naomi and Ruth, and consider how my own relationship with my mother-in-law, also widowed, has changed and been strengthened since Kendall’s death (not that it was strained before, mind you). I feel deeply the courage it must have taken the widow of Zarephath to give her last food to the prophet Elijah when that meant she could not feed her own child. I acknowledge how much more faith it can take sometimes when we hand over our children’s well-being to God and not just our own. That same woman who then lost her son and would witness yet another miracle but had to live through the agony of the interim. The widow who was recognized by Jesus for giving her mite as an offering. Mary, appearing to be widowed by the time Jesus was crucified, having to watch her son be unjustly killed and then needing to be cared for by John. And so on. The prospects and options for widows in the times of the Old and New Testaments were pretty bleak.
I have also at this point heard the stories of many other widows and widowers. I am well aware of how fortunate my own circumstances are. (And how hard things have still been even with the blessings.) I know that I was very blessed to receive the education earlier in my life that has allowed me to provide for my family. That I have a solid support network of family and friends and a caring church ward. That we have not lost our house or HAD to move (even if there have been plenty of times I would not have minded moving to another house that wasn’t so filled with ghosts and memories…). I can recognize numerous ways that experiences and opportunities in my life helped prepare me for what would be asked of me during this season of widowhood.
There is something so tender about people giving generously from their want (and yes, I have an extra soft spot for widow(er)s in particular). I was able to attend a fundraising event Friday evening for an organization, Widow/Widower Seeds of Hope, that helps widows and widowers who are struggling in various ways. The most remarkable thing about it, though, is that it was not only founded, and is now run, by widow(er)s, but it is also funded by them as well. By us. The very people offering assistance to others are those who have experienced their own heartbreak and difficult circumstances. It was so heartwarming to hear some of the stories of people who had been impacted by this organization, and it felt good to be able to pay it forward for others who may not have been as blessed as I have been.
At the end of the evening they handed out replicas of a widow’s mite coin. I’ve been thinking about that concept a lot today, what can constitute as a “widow’s mite” in our lives. Certainly that can look like giving financial support or resources like it did the other night. But if I take the idea further, what really made the widow’s actions so admirable was not that she was giving money but that she was giving from a place of want. It was a true sacrifice and act of faith for her to do so.
So where is MY “want?” Money sometimes, sure. But I think for me it more often looks like my energy stores, emotional or sometimes even physical capacities, or just plain time. It’s true that it DOES feel like more of a sacrifice when I offer those limited resources to strengthening my relationship with and worshiping God, or focusing on my children, or sometimes even being there for a friend. It seems to place more importance on those efforts because they are that. Efforts. Very intentional choices. I believe that the Lord honors those sacrifices in the same way that He did the widow offering her mite. My being a supportive friend or being fully present for and spending time with my children were of course good things before. But they were a lot easier for me to do when I didn’t have the same demands on my time and resources.
I’m not saying that I don’t want to make those “sacrifices,” if you could call them that. The opposite is true, actually. I crave those connections, those opportunities to feel like I have something to offer even with the limitations that exist in my life now, some of the obstacles I didn’t have before. But I also can see that my CAPACITY is greater now in so many ways, because I am actively trying to involve the Lord in my efforts. I not only welcome, but have come to expect, His help. So yes, those obstacles and limitations are no doubt there, but if anything I feel like I can now offer more. The Lord can do wonders even with the widow’s mites.