Still Being Smelted

The relationship and bond that Kenny and I had with one another was very close, and I know that we had a good marriage. Sure, like with any relationship things weren't perfect and we went through difficult times, but we did make our way through them together and were ultimately closer because of them. So I wasn't expecting the feelings of regret, and yes, sometimes even anger,…

This Kintsugi bowl was a gift last year from a very thoughtful friend, and it currently sits on a shelf in my bedroom where I can see it every day. Are you familiar with the Japanese concept of Kintsugi? It is an art form that takes broken pottery pieces and welds them back together with gold, thus resulting in a finished product that is more beautiful, valuable,…

I attended my first Widow/Widower conference last Friday and Saturday (I was unable to attend on the first day, Thursday, but definitely plan to go for the whole thing next time). With this also being Mother's Day weekend, I have gone through such a gambit of emotions the past few days. I loved meeting new people and making new friends, being around others who "get it" in…

Today is National Widow's Day (not to be confused with International Widow's Day, which is June 23). Even though our family has at times been all about celebrating unusual and lesser-known holidays, I can't say I'm particularly loving being qualified to celebrate this one. I saw someone post this today, and while I wanted to share it I need to first preface this by saying that I…

Ready for your next installment of the sensational and increasingly unbelievable serial novel that is my life? Because yes, I did have TWO MORE FLOODS today, both most assuredly involving sewage (ick, ick, ICK!), and forcing me to cancel most of my therapy sessions for the day. The good news is that we were FINALLY able to identify and fix (at least for now, since it could…

So I'm trying to decide if it is a form of denial or merely attempting to have a good attitude, that when my daughter calls to tell me that the basement is flooding one of my first thoughts is, "Well, at least it wasn't raw sewage this time!" Am I becoming jaded here? (No, no, we'll just call me seasoned and experienced, better understanding how much worse…

I am willing to admit that being patient has never been a strength of mine. Even so, in looking back I can see how much progress I have made with this particular virtue over the past two years. (OK, there may be some people reading this who are now laughing at that, because I'm far from perfect with this, but I HAVE gotten better!) The concept of…

This has been a tough grief day for me, and I can't even pinpoint any specific reasons for it. Sometimes that's just how it is, that those waves seem to come with no apparent warning. I've been feeling it acutely, not having my person to talk through and process my day with, purge things weighing on me, share things I'm anticipating or am excited about, discuss things…

I've talked a lot on here about mindfully looking for the blessings and miracles there have been amid the trials. That has been such an important part of my, and my family's, journey over the past two years. Within that framework, however, the following passage from Megan Devine's book, "It's OK That You're Not OK" really gave me food for thought. She says, "Being brave - being…

Whoa, did that post title make you do a double-take? (I can pretty much guarantee it did for my father - sorry, Dad!) Is Suzanne really talking about DATING, so soon after hitting her one-year mark? Oh yes, my friends, I am. The whole subject of dating, or not dating, is so variable and individual for people who are widowed. And not surprisingly, it can get talked…