Still Being Smelted

Who are the people who have been the most influential in your life? Obviously meeting Kenny in high school ended up really changing the course of my life (aren't high-school-us so cute?). But there are so many people I have crossed paths with over the past 40 years who have helped shape who I have become as a person, how my life has played out thus far.…

I'm finding that there's a fine line between accepting that I have very little control over things while recognizing that circumstances will likely NEVER turn out exactly how I would have planned, vs. constantly defaulting to expecting, and bracing for, the worst. I am mindful that that doomsday, always on guard feeling is a trauma response. I know that ultimately I get to choose what I focus…

I have always appreciated the concept of a fresh start. I tend to look for excuses to set or recommit to personal goals, but especially at natural transition times of the year like when school starts, the beginning of a new calendar year, or even a birthday or anniversary. I also like to be intentionally introspective when anything is ending, to consider how I may have grown,…

The relationship and bond that Kenny and I had with one another was very close, and I know that we had a good marriage. Sure, like with any relationship things weren't perfect and we went through difficult times, but we did make our way through them together and were ultimately closer because of them. So I wasn't expecting the feelings of regret, and yes, sometimes even anger,…

This Kintsugi bowl was a gift last year from a very thoughtful friend, and it currently sits on a shelf in my bedroom where I can see it every day. Are you familiar with the Japanese concept of Kintsugi? It is an art form that takes broken pottery pieces and welds them back together with gold, thus resulting in a finished product that is more beautiful, valuable,…

I attended my first Widow/Widower conference last Friday and Saturday (I was unable to attend on the first day, Thursday, but definitely plan to go for the whole thing next time). With this also being Mother's Day weekend, I have gone through such a gambit of emotions the past few days. I loved meeting new people and making new friends, being around others who "get it" in…

Today is National Widow's Day (not to be confused with International Widow's Day, which is June 23). Even though our family has at times been all about celebrating unusual and lesser-known holidays, I can't say I'm particularly loving being qualified to celebrate this one. I saw someone post this today, and while I wanted to share it I need to first preface this by saying that I…

Ready for your next installment of the sensational and increasingly unbelievable serial novel that is my life? Because yes, I did have TWO MORE FLOODS today, both most assuredly involving sewage (ick, ick, ICK!), and forcing me to cancel most of my therapy sessions for the day. The good news is that we were FINALLY able to identify and fix (at least for now, since it could…

So I'm trying to decide if it is a form of denial or merely attempting to have a good attitude, that when my daughter calls to tell me that the basement is flooding one of my first thoughts is, "Well, at least it wasn't raw sewage this time!" Am I becoming jaded here? (No, no, we'll just call me seasoned and experienced, better understanding how much worse…

I am willing to admit that being patient has never been a strength of mine. Even so, in looking back I can see how much progress I have made with this particular virtue over the past two years. (OK, there may be some people reading this who are now laughing at that, because I'm far from perfect with this, but I HAVE gotten better!) The concept of…