Still Being Smelted

You'll notice that I did say grateful in all circumstances, not necessarily grateful for all circumstances. That's an important distinction to make. It would be disingenuous of me to say that I was grateful for my husband dying so young, for Mom's death, was grateful for my child's serious medical conditions, or my own physical limitations. No one would believe that, including myself. (I mean, there does…

It didn't take Kenny dying for me to realize that we were a good team, and I never once doubted that he loved me and our family. Even so, I do have a greater appreciation now for how very involved and supportive Kenny was at home for me and our family, just how much he did for us/me. I feel it every day what a poor substitute…

It's been a minute. In reality only two weeks since my last post, but for some reason it feels like it's been much longer. Going through periods of intense emotions or experiences can do that. I did actually start three separate blog posts during those two weeks, but none of them went anywhere. I've been writing, yes, but mostly frivolous stuff and it hasn't felt like I've…

I mentioned this in passing to a friend last night and, judging by her reaction, I'm realizing that it may not be such a normal thing that I get something in the mail nearly every day related to medical bills? Granted, not every single one is a bill needing to be paid, may be an Explanation of Benefits notice or some such, but it is rare now…

I have got to get some new material here! Really, Suzanne, the whole "Here we are in the ER again" bit is getting more than old. You must be starting to think that we do this for fun! ("Things are feeling kinda dull today, and we've gone whole weeks now without seeing our friends in the ER. Maybe we should pop down and say hi!") Or maybe…

I have literally started four different blog posts within the last 48 hours. I kept thinking of new things I wanted to write about as I listened to different talks during General Conference. (Because woohoo, it was once again General Conference weekend! Yes, we've been smack in the middle of another round of the Conference store, special Conference snacks, the traditional "Conference meal" hosted at Dad's house,…

I have an app on my phone that gives me a daily Bible verse, along with some thoughtful commentary and questions. It's a great way to start off my day. The verse today was Matthew 14:14, which says, "And Jesus went forth, and saw a great multitude, and was moved with compassion toward them, and he healed their sick." What makes this verse stand out to me…

I'm not sure exactly what I expected of the death anniversary this year (many call it an angelversary, although for some reason I've never loved that term). This wasn't our first go around, after all. With all of the health-related issues happening in our household lately, I didn't plan ahead as carefully as last year. I may not have taken the entire week off of work this…

I do realize that everyone has stuff always going on in their lives. Inconvenient or challenging things regularly come up and then need to be dealt with, that's certainly not unique to the Sawyers. But tell me it's not all in my mind that we seem to have had a higher than average number of strange or altogether big things happening in our lives recently? Recently meaning…

I am frequently asked the question, "How are you doing?" I don't really mind, despite how complicated it can feel now to answer that. I understand the kind intent behind the query and I do want to stay caught up with and connected to others. It's often difficult for me to formulate an answer, though. First off, I don't know (or want to seem to presume) if…